Tag Archives: Colonoscopy

Ick! – GaviLyte-N Is Vile


I usually don’t like to blog about negative things. My Mom always says  if you can’t say anything good about something, then don’t say anything at all (actually, I think all moms say that.) But in this case I feel compelled to dump this post about GaviLyte-N on the world, because most people are going to have to drink this nasty stuff at some point in their lives. I’ve created a new category for my blog called “Ick!” – it’s for anything that is particularly disgusting, and this stuff is at the top of the list.

I’m not new to this drink – I endured it in the mid ‘90s for my first colonoscopy. Good Lord, with all of the amazing technology out there (yes, Virginia, they did put a man on the moon) you would think they could make this stuff taste better, maybe like a nice bubbly or iced tea. I read on drugs.com that GaviLyte-N has “a pleasant mineral water taste.” Pleasant? Whoever wrote that must be on crack.  If they can’t improve the taste, at least have smaller doses. A gallon of this sh*t to drink in 8 oz. pours every 15 minutes? Really? Really? Why not just a shot in the arm or the butt they are so attracted to? Or develop a simple blood test – one little pinch of a needle and you’re done. And it costs more than $20.00 to boot. I have to pay to drink this crap? And endure a liquid diet the entire day before the procedure? Jello is the only “food” I get? I’m tempted to add vodka (it is clear) to it and make jello shots, LMAO.

All of this reminds me of a response to a question on the ‘60’s television show “The Newlywed Game” with Bob Eubanks as host. Four newlywed couples would each separately answer “suggestive” questions (at the time) and compare their responses to see how well they really knew their spouses. The couple with the best score at the end would win some sort of prize. Anyway, this was the question and answer:

  • Bob: Where’s the most unusual place you’ve made whoopee?
  • Female contestant: That would be up the butt, Bob.

Apparently this is true – check it out on snopes.com. It’s funny regardless – wish I could have seen Bob Eubank’s face – he probably laughed his a$$ off!

Back to this gallon of sh*t to clean your pipes out the day before the procedure. It comes with a little package of “lemon flavoring” to add to the concoction. Bless your heart for including that, pharmaceutical company, you crack me up. And BTW, thanks for suggesting the nausea pills and the recommendation for the baby wipes so I won’t have any chafing. Glad to know you’re covering my a$$!

I had to get a substitute to lead my water aerobics class tonight so I wouldn’t cause a “brown-out” in the pool. The only bright side is I’ve probably lost a few pounds. Note to self: Buy some more toilet cleaner.

Okay, that’s a load off. But now I’ve gotta run ….